Say what the other person wants
Listen to what I want to say!
40 Speaking Skills to Build Confidence in Work, Relationships, and Life

While some people are easily swayed by a single word from others, are always intimidated in meetings, and are too busy judging the timing to speak up, there are also people who confidently express their opinions in meetings, talk friendly with people they meet for the first time, and deal flexibly with conflict situations.
If you want to be a confident speaker, someone everyone wants to meet again, and someone who leads conversations, all you need to know is the 'Laws of Conversation.'
Just by being good at conversation, you can make a good impression on people and get new opportunities like promotions or contracts.


Author Shin Kyeong-won, a communications expert with a salary in the hundreds of millions sought after by Korea's top 10 companies, says that simply changing the way you speak can dramatically change your life.
Countless people have achieved success at work, expanded their relationships, and transformed their lives by listening to the author's conversational lectures.
"The Laws of Conversation" contains the author's know-how and specific examples accumulated over many years of solving the concerns of students he has met.
Chapter 1 covers conversation techniques that build confidence the more you speak, Chapter 2 covers conversation techniques that narrow relationships, Chapter 3 covers conversation techniques that always leave a good impression, Chapter 4 covers conversation techniques that increase your value, and Chapter 5 covers conversation techniques of people who are good at their jobs.


Many people have difficulty with 'requests' and 'rejections'.
When making a request, you worry that it will burden the other person, and when refusing, you worry that it will hurt the other person.
But if you know the rules, you can easily make requests and refuse requests.
When you ask for something, give it a choice.
If you make the other person aware that they have the decision-making power, such as saying something like, “I created this material. Can you look at it and give me your opinion when you have time?”, the burden on the other person will also be reduced.
When refusing, either accept only what you can or give an honest reason for refusing.
If you add an honest reason like, “I’m so tired today, I want to rest a bit. Would it be okay if we meet again next time?”, the other person will be easily convinced.

As we go through life, everyone makes mistakes in their speech.
If you add various words about trying to fix the mistake, the atmosphere will become more awkward.
The most important thing in times like these is the attitude that 'I can pick up as many slips of the tongue as I want.'
From now on, let's take it easy when we make a slip of the tongue.
Pick up the words you've said while whining, like, "Oh my, my tongue won't listen to me today" or "I guess my mouth still hasn't gotten over the weekend."
It's about acknowledging it lightly, moving on pleasantly, and then continuing the conversation smoothly.

The difference between those who know the rules of conversation and those who don't is beyond imagination.
Knowing the rules of conversation can transform you from someone who gets hurt by a single word to someone who seizes an opportunity with a single word, and from someone who is too cautious to express their opinion to someone who can change the mood and influence relationships with a single word.
Now, it's time to change your life with one conversation!

The difference between a life that knows the rules of conversation and a life that doesn't is beyond imagination.
Now, close your eyes for a moment and picture yourself speaking confidently in front of hundreds of people, leading the air in a conference room, and ascending effortlessly to a position that seemed like a dream.
Doesn't the picture look pretty good? Now it's time to make that fantasy a reality.
I became a well-spoken person only after going through numerous dark experiences, but I hope that the readers of this book will walk that path a little more comfortably.
You only live once.
The moment you learn the laws of conversation, your life changes.
---From "Prologue_If you just know the rules of conversation, your life will change"

An influential person is someone who knows when to stop, rather than simply trying to cut down on their words.
From charismatic CEOs to captivating lecturers to actors who captivate audiences with just a glance.
They are people who use silence strategically.

Three seconds of silence, that brief silence, makes me a more trustworthy person, a more intelligent and dignified person.
Let's bring out silence before words.
Sometimes those three seconds can be the most persuasive words.

When you want to refute what someone is saying, when you want to take control of the conversation, or when you feel emotional, just pause for just three seconds.
---From "A Strong Conversation Method That Boosts Your Confidence the More You Talk"

If you pronounce words clearly and keep your speaking speed constant, you will give the impression that you are 'smart'.
But people who have space and lingering feelings in their words leave a deeper impression.
When these three things are present at the end of a word, caution, delicacy, and intelligence, the word gains weight.
While some people lead the conversation with wit and humor, others quietly lead the flow by adding weight to their words.

But this lingering feeling should not be misunderstood.
If you trail off and fail to convey your message clearly, you will appear indecisive or unsure.
So, the aftertaste must be used strategically.
Clear message, soft emotion.
---From "Chapter 2: Warm Conversation Methods to Close the Gap in Relationships"

Being good at speaking doesn't just mean speaking nicely.
Some words make you feel good, some words warm your heart, and some words bring comfort.
We are taught to 'speak nicely', but we don't think about whether those words are affectionate or kind.
But these three are clearly different.


The tone of your speech should vary depending on the situation.
A single pretty word like, “You’re so cool!” can brighten a day, and a kind word like, “You must be having a hard time today, right?” can quietly hold a broken heart together.
“It’s okay to take it slow.
The kind words, “I’ll wait,” bring comfort and relaxation to a tiring day.

---From "Chapter 2: Warm Conversation Methods to Close the Gap in Relationships"

It's not always good to listen a lot, and it's not always true that talking will deepen a conversation.
It requires a sense of appropriate adjustment depending on the situation.

When the other person talks about their worries → Listening 80% or more
Meetings or negotiations → 60% listening, 60% speaking
40% when sharing my experience → 50% listening, 50% speaking

Listening is a skill that flows in silence, but it is full of interest, respect, and emotional attunement.
---From "Chapter 3: Affectionate Conversation That Always Makes a Good Impression"

When you first meet someone, what's the one thing that sticks in your memory? It's not their clothes or their voice, but their facial expression.
What determines an impression is not appearance but 'feeling', and that feeling begins with 'expression'.
Subtle expressions, such as a warm smiling face and gently moving eyebrows when empathizing, come together to create the image of a 'good person.'
Fortunately, facial expressions are not innate.
From this moment on, anyone can change.
Opportunities come more often to people with a 'good expression' than to people with a 'good face'.
---From "Chapter 3: Affectionate Conversation That Always Makes a Good Impression"

'Words that make me shine' is a technique of speaking that naturally and confidently reveals one's strengths and values.
This is not bragging, but a humble way of expressing confidence.
To make myself shine, I must first smile and tell my story confidently.
You must be able to speak for yourself about your strengths, your accomplishments, the challenges you have overcome, and your future goals and vision.
If I don't reveal myself, no one will recognize my worth for me.


“I was lucky.”
→ “I prepared hard and luck followed me.”
“I just did it roughly.”
→ “I did my best in a short period of time.”
“I didn’t do much.”
→ “I was able to contribute because the teamwork was good.”
---From "Chapter 4: Confident Conversation Methods that Increase My Value"

A: “I still have a long way to go, but I learned a lot from experiencing various projects at my previous company.
“I will do my best to achieve good results.”
B: “I gained a lot of practical experience working on various projects at my previous company.
So, I am confident that I can adapt quickly and achieve results in this role.”

Who do you trust more, A or B? A's words seem humble, but also lack confidence.
The phrase 'although it is not enough' is an expression that unintentionally puts the brakes on one's own potential.


On the other hand, B describes his experience in detail and builds confidence on that basis.
The listener naturally feels trust.
---From "Chapter 4: Confident Conversation Methods that Increase My Value"

Being a good speaker doesn't just mean speaking fluently.
The power to communicate who I am and what I want in a way that others can easily understand.
That is the essence of real speaking.

Oprah Winfrey communicated with the world through the language of empathy, and Barack Obama changed the course of history with a single speech.
Steve Jobs inspired technology with words, and Malala Yousafzai moved the world with a single sentence.
They all proved that words open doors of opportunity.

What's important is that these opportunities aren't just for special people.
Opportunities open to those who speak.
Not everything has to be perfect.
Your words must be filled with sincerity, responsibility, and an attitude of engagement in conversation.
---From "Chapter 5: Wise Conversation Methods of People Who Are Effective at Their Job"

“It takes a week to prepare a 10-minute speech, two days to prepare a 30-minute speech, and you can prepare a 1-hour speech right now.”

The truth that the shorter you speak, the more preparation you need holds true in the business environment as well.
Effective reporting is not simply about being 'brief'.
The conclusion should be clear, the reasons logical, and the details concise.


For example, let's say we're talking about a project budget reporting situation.
1.
conclusion.
“Team Leader, this project is likely to be delayed due to budget issues.”
2.
reason.
“Our current budget exhaustion rate has reached 80%, and additional support is needed.”
3.
Details.
“Accordingly, we have prepared two alternatives.”

---From "Chapter 5: The Wise Conversation Methods of People Who Are Effective at Their Job"