preface

1.
Forgiveness, the hardest thing in the world
2.
God wants to forgive
3.
Forgiveness is the way to yourself
4.
To forgive
5.
To escape from minor wounds
6.
To break free from the chains of emotions

Conclusion
Prayer for forgiveness
Americas

The Path of Forgiveness That Saves Me and Restores Relationships

“If I had to name two of the most difficult things in the world, they would be not sinning and forgiving those who have hurt me.” (p. 11)

This book begins by empathizing with and comforting our weak and aching hearts.
First, let's explain what forgiveness is and why we should forgive.
And it helps us diagnose the wounds we receive, classifying them into serious and minor wounds, and respond accordingly.
The author, a Jesuit priest and pastor, wrote this book after encountering many people suffering, seeking theological and psychological support to help them heal their wounds and improve their relationships.

It has been about 20 years since the Bible and Humanity series was first published.
We have updated the cover and content with gratitude for the book that has been consistently loved by believers in the Korean church and has had a great influence on their religious lives.
In these difficult times of the pandemic, we hope that more people can find spiritual health through the Word, and we have updated the cover and content.
Artist Jiyoon Lim, who designed the cover, said she patterned it with “the image of a knot in the heart being untied.”
Additionally, most of the quoted Bible verses were changed to CBCK 『Bible』, and the font size was increased and redesigned.


Why You Should Forgive and What You Shouldn't Misunderstand About Forgiveness

First, he says that forgiveness is not easy, but “it is a teaching that Christians must clearly know and practice,” and cites the Lord’s Prayer, which Jesus himself taught, as an example.
God says that the reason He asks for such difficult forgiveness is because of the need for our own health and the community in which we live.


“As a believer in a God of forgiveness, I want to forgive in the face of the demands of faith, but in reality, all that builds up in my heart is anger, rage, and hostility.
Forgiveness is not something that happens because the other person has repented.
Forgiveness is the result of anger, resentment, and hostility that arise from an inability to forgive.
“Forgiveness is for oneself.” (p. 25)

“If you cannot forgive those who have wronged you and hate them, the more you hate them, the more hatred you will accumulate.
… hatred can lead to destructive actions.
“If we don’t forgive, we will live with the wounds growing rather than healing them.” (p. 29)

However, he explains that forgiveness does not happen automatically, so it requires a decision first, and then God's help.
To forgive, we must go beyond prejudice and truly understand the person who has hurt us, confront the wrong or evil head-on, and feel anger and guilt for the wrong.
And even if I forgive, I have to admit that it takes time for the wounds that have already been created to heal.
And since it is impossible with our own strength, we must ask for God's help.
However, we must distinguish between true forgiveness and cheap forgiveness that is a result of a forgiveness complex.
It clearly shows that cheap forgiveness only makes the wounds worse.


How to Deal with Real Hurts and Minor Hurts

The author first invites us to face our wounds and make a diagnosis of them.
If it is a real wound, it tells us that the one we should forgive is the one who hurt us, and it prescribes that we must forgive in order to escape the playground of hatred.
However, he explains that we must forgive ourselves because minor wounds stem from our immature attitudes, and suggests seven solutions to avoid repeating the same mistakes.

Recognize your emotions and express them correctly

In order to heal a wound, the person who has been hurt must first decide to heal.
At this time, I invite you to look closely at the emotions that are hindering your decision.
This example illustrates that being swayed by emotions prematurely prevents us from making a clear diagnosis and hinders us from moving forward on the path to true forgiveness.
It tells us that 'I-talk' conversations are important for being honest about our feelings, and it also explains how to express our feelings using 'I-talk' through examples.