★Latest expanded edition commemorating the 300,000-copy milestone★

Korea's leading child education expert, who has counseled 600,000 parents and children for 26 years.
Everything you need to know about the growth of children ages 0-6, compiled by Professor Shin Eui-jin of the Department of Child Psychiatry at Yonsei University.

Professor Shin Eui-jin of Yonsei University's Department of Child Psychiatry has compiled everything parents of children aged 0-6 must know about child psychology into 160 key words based on 26 years of clinical records and proven developmental theories.
What should I do when my child cries and shivers? Is it always best for the mother to stay home until the child is two? My child will hug anyone without any reservations, is slower to speak than their peers, is overly timid and weak-willed, cries when I take their smartphone away, is stubborn, is distracted and has trouble concentrating. Please teach me how to scold them properly…
We've compiled 160 of the most common questions about child development that new parents, always anxious about whether they're raising their children well, are curious about. We've also provided accurate information, useful solutions, and the right attitudes parents should maintain.
This book contains the core of parenting that parents should not miss during the critical period of development of a child's self, from 0 to 6 years of age.
Also, the latest expanded edition, commemorating the 300,000-copy milestone, includes '20 warning signs that parents of children aged 0-6 should never miss' so that parents can diagnose their children's development on their own.
You can find help by looking at it moment by moment whenever you encounter questions while raising a child.

According to child development experts, 70 percent of a child's self is developed by the age of six.
This also means that 70 percent of the foundation for living life is laid during this period.
The period from 0 to 6 years old is an important period for children.
It's not just physical growth.
Along with brain development, the mind, or psychological growth, also occurs at a rapid pace.
However, if parents are not aware of this psychological growth process in their children, their daily life with them will inevitably become a battle.
Because we don't know what changes are happening in a child's mind or what developmental processes they are going through, we end up judging and forcing all their actions from an adult's perspective.

Therefore, parents must first find out 'why' their children behave that way.
Only then can we properly find the answer to the question 'how' to deal with it.

--- From the "Prologue"

If you keep hugging a crying child, will it become a bad habit?

Holding a crying child doesn't make them bad manners.
Rather, if you leave your child alone when he or she cries, he or she may grow up to be a child with a bad personality.
What if your child cries because he or she is hungry, has a wet diaper, or misses his or her mom, but she comes home late or you suddenly hear a loud vacuum cleaner?
If you continue to experience this kind of unfulfilled desire, you will become disappointed and frustrated, and as mentioned earlier, you will lose faith in the world.
You start to think, 'Maybe my mom doesn't love me', 'I'm not that important.'
Ultimately, the child grows up to be a person who views the world negatively, is timid, and lacks confidence in anything.
In order to instill positive thoughts and feelings in your child, you must respond immediately to his or her crying.

The child hugs anyone without discrimination.

Not being shy at all can be a more serious problem than being extremely shy.
If you are easily hugged by anyone, it is possible that you have not formed a good attachment to your mother.
If you love your mother the most and don't show interest in other people while giving her a lot of hugs, it may be that you don't feel anything towards people around you due to your distrust of the world.
So, if your child is not shy at all, you should check to see if there is a problem with his or her usual attachment to his or her mother.
In addition, if you leave your child at a daycare center too early, they may be exposed to an environment where they are cared for by more people than other children, which may make them less shy.
It may be because they meet nanny teachers before they even develop an attachment to their mother, so they don't perceive their mother as a special person.
In such cases, it is better to spend enough time with the child when he or she returns home, hug him or her, and play with him or her.

Among children who are not shy, there are some who have autism spectrum disorder.
These children have autism spectrum disorder, which prevents them from properly connecting with their mothers and perceiving the world.
As a result, they become less social and less aware of others, making them shy.
Also, even if the intelligence is low, shyness is delayed or less.
Their brains are not developed enough to properly distinguish between their mother and other people.
If your child does not show any shyness around 8 months of age despite being well-cared for and spending ample time with him or her, you may need to get him or her evaluated for developmental abnormalities.


Is my development slow or am I being impatient?

To properly understand development, we must at least consider it as language, cognitive, motor, social, and emotional development.
It is important to note that there are important and less important variables that can explain development depending on age.
For example, speaking a lot is not a very important variable in explaining mental development, but understanding speech is a very important variable.
For motor development, head support and independent walking are very important variables, but rolling over and crawling are less crucial variables compared to the former.
If motor development is slow, emotional development will also be slow.
Likewise, if emotional development is slow, motor development will also be slow.
As such, motor development and emotional development cannot be considered separately.
And for children under the age of 3, when neural network formation is active, if there is a problem in one area of ​​development, it can spread to developmental problems in other areas.

I'm late in speaking compared to other children my age.

First, check to see if you are communicating nonverbally, such as through gestures or facial expressions.
If your child can communicate his or her thoughts and feelings through eye contact or imitation, you don't have to worry too much about his or her difficulty speaking.
Secondly, you need to make sure that your child does not have any intellectual problems.
Since language development is also a cognitive ability, when intelligence is low, language development is often also slow.
To find out about your child's intellectual development, you can look at whether your child is playing games appropriate for his or her age.
For example, if a child around the age of 3 is unable to engage in imaginative play, such as pretend play, and only engages in simple physical play, there is a possibility that their intelligence is low.

Thirdly, we need to check whether social development is normal.
Since language is a means of communication between people, if you are not interested in other people, your language development will be slow.
The person who has the greatest influence on a child's social development is the primary caregiver.
If the relationship with the primary caregiver is not smooth or unstable, the child may close his or her heart to others.
Finally, because language development is closely related to a child's emotional state, it is important to check whether the child is experiencing emotional problems.
Children show significant differences in their language expression depending on their mood.
If your child understands what others say, but is usually depressed and doesn't speak much, you may need to look into emotional issues.
A child who is separated from his mother unprepared and is shocked or ostracized by his friends may become psychologically depressed and have delayed emotional development.
In this case, language development is also delayed.
It is recommended that you carefully observe your child's surroundings and consult a professional if emotional problems are affecting language development.


If you don't let me watch TV or watch my smartphone, I cry.

There was a time when children's television programs were all the rage.
These programs are quite addictive and children love them, but there is no evidence that they are good for the development of intellectual abilities, including language.
Many mothers question whether educational computer programs are effective.
Although not much research has been conducted on this yet, previous research suggests that it is not very effective.

In particular, it is very dangerous to have your child watch English programs all day long in the hopes of teaching him or her English.
Language does not develop by repeating fragments of information.
It must be based on the ability to think critically about the situation.
Because of this, repeated viewing can actually hinder thinking skills and delay language development.

A 2017 domestic study found that most (95 percent) of infants with delayed language development had their first exposure to digital devices before 24 months of age, and 63 percent of them used digital devices for more than two hours a day.
That's why I tell parents never to let their children have a smartphone until they are two years old.
It is also not recommended to allow children over three years old to use smartphones.
Not only is it a problem to constantly look at your smartphone, but there are also concerns about the negative side effects, such as reduced physical activity and not playing with friends.

I still can't control my bowels.

The age at which children begin to learn to potty train is usually between 18 and 30 months, but this can vary greatly from child to child.
There is no correlation between being able to potty train quickly and being intelligent.
So, as long as potty training is completed within 36 months, you can assume there will be no problem.

The problem is the parents' impatience.
There are cases where parents ignore their child's developmental level and forcefully potty train their child, thinking, "The kid next door has already potty trained, so why is my kid so late?" This is absolutely not good for the child.
If you force training on a child who is not developmentally ready, the child will become stressed and will reject the training.
They are afraid to sit on or approach the toilet and intentionally hold in their stool, eventually causing it to leak.
Moreover, the hard, hard stool that comes out at this time causes pain, which results in the child holding in the stool even more.
In addition to the fear and dread of being scolded by mom and dad, children are more likely to exhibit violent and aggressive behavior due to rebelliousness and hostility.

When potty training, it is best to sit your child on the toilet and perform the straining motion with them. If your child follows along well, praise them for the job well done.
When a child sees his mother's satisfied face, he becomes happy too, and the pleasant feeling of having a bowel movement remains in his mind, which helps him control his bowel movements in the future.


My child is stubborn.

When a child does not listen to their mother and only asserts their own opinions, they are often referred to as being 'stubborn' or 'throwing a tantrum.'
These are words with a largely negative connotation.
However, from a developmental perspective, this means that the child has a strong self-concept and a firm will.
However, because their ability to express themselves is immature, they express it with definitive words like “I don’t like it” or “I won’t do it”, or with extreme actions like banging their head on the ground.

Therefore, when a child is being stubborn, rather than judging from the parent's perspective, we must first consider the child's position as he or she is still in the process of growing.
Rather than focusing on the stubbornness itself, we should focus on finding the hidden motive behind the stubbornness.

As time goes by, children will naturally learn to be considerate of others and will naturally let go of their stubbornness.
If this process is not followed, the child may grow up to be an adult who cannot properly express his or her own opinions.


I can't hang out with friends and play alone.

The first thing to consider is the relationship between mother and child.
Children who get along well with their mothers and play well with others when they go out.
Through my mother, I realized that the world is a fun and worthwhile place to live in, and little by little, I expanded that scope.
On the other hand, a child who fights with his mother every day at home and gets scolded only has a hard time making friends when he goes out.

It is also necessary to examine relationships with other family members, such as father and siblings.
Family can be said to be the first society a child encounters.
Therefore, we need to check whether the child is establishing primary social relationships well within the family.
Look at whether you are expressing what you want and don't want to do in front of your family.
Also, pay attention to whether you are considerate of your siblings and can compromise with them.
If you have these basic skills at home, you will have no trouble making friends.


Are teaching aids that are said to be good for brain development really effective?

When parents ask me about early childhood education, I tell them straight up:
'Education before the age of six is ​​just a hobby for mom and dad.'
Children under the age of 6 have not yet developed cognitive abilities, so education is not effective, and there is no guarantee that education received at that age will have an impact when they grow up.

A child's brain develops evenly across all areas, without focusing on any one area.
So, education that focuses only on visual stimulation, like textbooks that are said to be good for brain development, is not good.
For example, if you want to teach your child about fish, it is more effective to go to an aquarium or pond together and let them see the size of the fish and touch them, rather than simply showing them a picture book or video.
And during this period, emotional development is important, so we need to make sure that the child can live happily.
Only then will you learn more about the world, which will in turn lead to brain development.
Share warm skin-to-skin contact with your child often.
Hugging, making eye contact, and spending happy times together are the most basic ways to bring emotional stability and develop the brain.

--- From the text