There is no manual for raising children.

Since its inception, the bimonthly [Dandelion] has promoted itself as an ‘educational magazine for parents who study.’
This is because I thought that parental growth was more important than anything else for children's education and for changes in education.
Books and magazines for parents often tell parents to do this or not do that in a firm yet kind way, but instead of providing a kind manual, Dandelion has followed in the footsteps of those who have walked the path of parenthood first, wavering.
The direction of that path seems to be not about what to do with 'the child', but ultimately, how 'I' will live.


They say children come into the world to make their parents human.

The wisdom of the sages of the East and the West, past and present, seems to boil down to not what to do with 'children', but how 'I' should live.
As the saying goes, "All children come into this world to become parents," perhaps becoming a parent means deciding to grow yourself through your child.
We've gathered together various stories about how people are wisely navigating this difficult "parenting" that seems like it requires a license.
I hope this book can provide comfort and empathy to those striving to be good parents and good people, and that it can convey the enlightenment and wisdom of those who have been shaken first.

Compared to the countless possibilities children possess, not being able to study is a very small part of it.
It's the same even if you're last in the whole school.
Children are sensitive.
I know like a ghost whether the parents' thought of 'It's okay to be last in the school' comes from a feeling of giving up after much heartache and thinking, 'Okay, since my child is bad at studying, let's make them do something else' or from a sense of free-spirited values.
The moment we stop lining up and have faith, every child will grow to their full potential in their own innate way.

---From "It's Okay to Be Last"

Even mothers who used to say without any greed, “I just want my child to be happy,” often become like wavering candles in front of their children’s ‘study’ as they get older.
Even when plots to further inflate my desires arise within me without my knowledge, I mistake them for love and push my child towards them.
When it becomes embarrassing to say that a parent's love for their child is 'unconditional', it is precisely when these desires creep up.
Even those who emphasize a frugal lifestyle, saying that luxury bags are unnecessary, want to be included in the ranks of parents who have raised their children better than anyone else.
If you think about it, the criteria for success are actually no different from 'the luxury bag that everyone wants'.

---From "The Difficulties of Being a Good Mother"

"Don't overthink it, don't overthink it." This simple principle is the right amount of distance to keep my mother's identity from overwhelming me.
Parenting is a natural process, and it's a belief that I'm a "good enough mother" (Donald Winnicott), and a commitment to looking beyond my child to the world my child belongs to.
After much deliberation, I decided to send my child to a regular daycare center, but I am still not free from worry and anxiety.
New mothers will continue to be shaken.
Still, I decided to believe two things.
Even if the environment seems inadequate, the child will learn from his peers, and I will learn from the time I am away from the child.

---From "The Parents' Seat, Filled While Swaying"

I was unable to acknowledge the characteristic of a ‘developmental disability’ and struggled to make my son become a ‘different person’. In reality, I was nothing more than a ‘bad mother’ who did not want to accept my child as he was, while I was packaging myself as a good mother who sacrificed for my son.
The very idea that I had to raise my son well so that he could catch up to his twin sister even a little was a mistake.
I shouldn't have raised my son well.
I just had to live well with my son.
happily.

---From "Raising Children, Living with Children"

Our society focuses too much on children.
The child's health, the child's happiness, the child's growth.
A mother exists only for her child.
A mother is not a special being, she is just a person who gave birth.
It's not like you're instantly equipped with 'mom mode' just because you gave birth, but it's as if you're a different person from yesterday, and they give you an excessive amount of responsibility to handle with the words, "Because you're a mom, because you're a mom, because you're a mom."
As with any job, mothers need to adjust, but there is little understanding or concern for the confusion, frustration, challenges, and inexperience that comes with becoming a mother.

---From "We Need Mothers' Language"

Children learn by watching how their parents learn, work, love their neighbors, and live happily in this world.
It's better to be an imperfect mother than an unhappy mother.
Also, a child has the responsibility and right to forge his or her own unique destiny without being bound by either the mother's or the father's genes.
There are many parents who feel sorry for giving so much to their children, but there are no perfect parents in this world.
Don't feel sorry for not being a perfect parent.

---From "Education is a team effort between parents and teachers"