Choi Jeong-eun, a picture book teacher for adults, tells stories to those who want to find their name again.
Twenty-one picture book stories

Are you dreaming of a new beginning?

The third essay by author Jeong-eun Choi, who pioneered the field of adult picture book reading with a picture book she encountered again in her forties.
It contains the story of a woman who took her first steps as a career break and her steady journey to becoming a picture book activist and author.
I share the moments of enlightenment and joy I gained at each turning point on the path to rediscovering my name, along with picture books I would like to read together.

“At the age of forty, I felt infinitely small in front of the lion I met for the first time, and I spent the night filled with regret, self-reproach, anxiety, and worry.
But I couldn't let my shaking affect my husband and children.
I stood up to hold on to my children who were reeling from the sudden change in their family circumstances during puberty.

First, I looked up and saw the lion.
I began to look around the unfamiliar situation carefully.
I realized that this lion did not disappear overnight.
After that, I started to vaguely know what I should do.
Instead of sitting there with a broken heart, I had to go out into the world again.

Not everyone leaves home to find something exciting.
Sometimes, like me, you have no choice but to step forward.
I can't hide any longer and I have to come out of the house.
Even though I had no choice but to open the door and come out, I wanted to go my own way.
During the time I spent as a mother and wife, I wanted to find out what people wanted, a country that had been briefly erased from my mind.
Whether I was pushed out or escaped, now is the time to find my true name and the path I should walk.
I retied my tangled shoelaces.
Instead of waiting for the scary lion to go away, I took the first step.
Like the child in the blue room, I wasn't fully prepared.
“Once I got out the door, I took my first step.”
--- pp.
20-21

“As we set out again, various sounds linger in our ears.
The words of advice and concern that are spoken sometimes make me feel weak and collapse.
Sometimes, unexpected encouragement gives us strength to get up and walk again.
Repeat the cycle of walking, sitting down, and walking again.

The scariest sound is the negative voice inside me that shakes at the sound of someone's words.
The pessimist within me is the most feared voice, the one who takes the small pebbles thrown by others and turns them into huge rocks, causing me to collapse.

I would often stop walking because of a voice that suddenly rose up inside me.
I despair at my own shortcomings and struggle in fear of not being able to dream of tomorrow.
“When waves came crashing in like that, I was helpless, but now I’ve learned how to ride them.”

--- p.42