A journey to find answers to countless questions about love and relationships.

“I will continue with you.”

This book was written with the desire to continue loving the one you love.
I wanted to express the emotional turmoil I experienced while going through the incident of my spouse's infidelity and my concerns about how to arrange that in my life.
I wanted to properly understand and accept the background and context of the matter, without turning a blind eye or hiding it.
I hope this book can reach those who strive to continue to love and live better.

Staying by someone's side is never easy.
To maintain a marital relationship, you need to have the will to add another person's life to your own and carry it all together.
You get to see and experience up close how many stories there are inside a person and how diverse the emotions that come with those stories are.
Because those feelings cannot be trivial to each other, we continue to live as a couple.

--- p.35

As a result, the incident became an opportunity to refine the lives of both people.
We looked back on the direction and attitude of our own lives and reexamined what we had been missing within the flow of this relationship.
We looked specifically at what we wanted to gain from this relationship and what we would both lose if we let go of each other.

--- p.84

On sleepless nights, I would sit in my dark room and wonder how I ended up in this room.
Where will I go from here? This room could be my final destination. As I thought about this, the room consoled me, telling me not to fall into sadness.
I wasn't alone in the room.
It felt like Bang and I were the only ones left in this vast world, comforting each other.

--- p.116

Sometimes I feel like going somewhere.
Maybe that's not so different from being left alone.
I picture my body alone in some space.
There I exist completely as myself.
There is not even my own gaze there.
Absence of all gaze.
My rest is only complete when no one is watching me.
I feel some fundamental shame all the time.
--- p.130

Love didn't save me.
The questions I had were not ones that could be answered by my lover or the love they gave me.
I should have found the answer within myself, not outside of myself, through questions, choices, and decisions that passed through my true self.
What I really had to fear wasn't breaking up with my lover, but losing myself.

--- p.170

The word 'I love you' as I define it omits the word 'continue'.
There is a will to continue to love, a promise to continue to be by your side.
To love is to say that you will try to understand, to stop and stay, to wait, and to say that if you seek, you will find.
It is a promise to try to keep that heart from changing.

--- p.205

In my experience, love happens, not is intended.
It is something that happens without us even realizing it that humans become curious about other humans, want to see them, want to touch them, and fall in love with them.
However, those who are married, those who have promised, declared, and declared that they will love no one but you and that they will spend their entire lives looking only at you, have an obligation.
The duty to leave no room for love to arise between oneself and others, the duty to suppress physical and mental desires.
What I believed in when I got married was the commitment to that duty.

--- p.232