Chapter 1: Breaking Up with Myself After Trying So Hard

· The pain you feel now is the wounds of the past knocking on your door.
· Can you answer the question, what is happiness?
· Do you know what I want?
Only those who have experienced suffering know how to find happiness.
· When the words "It's okay" pile up, at some point, your emotions turn into a bomb.
· You feel hurt when someone's words touch your unconscious emotions.
· The emotions you feel now are a reaction to past memories.
The reason I'm angry today is because I couldn't cry yesterday.
· Unpleasant emotions determine the immune system of the mind.
· Emotions are signals my mind sends to my body.
· Confidence comes when life is predictable.
· The emotions accumulated in my unconscious shake me now.
· You can't discover your potential in a familiar world.
· The little things you put off today can ruin your life later.
· Problems grow bigger the longer they are left unattended, like weeds in a yard.
Avoidance breeds repetition, while resolution creates opportunity.
· When you stop doing what you have to do, life looks new.
· Irrational beliefs create a prison for the mind.
· When you fall, get up first and think about the cause.
· Accept that life is fundamentally unfair.

Chapter 2: Summoning the Forgotten Me

· Emotional switch, memories engraved in the amygdala
· If you believe in your own worth, you won't be swayed by trivial remarks.
· You deserve to be loved without having to try too hard.
· When I get stuck in a role, my real self disappears.
· Mental turmoil is a sign that suppressed emotions are coming to light.
· 'For you' means 'to rule over you'
· I feel most anxious when I don't know what I really want.
· When your heart wavers, your ability to perceive people becomes clouded.
· When you get used to fear, it becomes a habit.
· Emotions that arise like habits dominate my life.
The more I try not to be hated, the more I disappear.
The moment you admit failure, you gain the strength to get back up again.
· There is no one around who can say “Why?”
· My heart wavers when I don't have my own way of living.
· The life you've lived is engraved in your amygdala.
· Being angry but actually shaking
· As time passes, failures become memories.
· When there are no people around me who want me to be myself
· Good children become helpless adults.
If I hadn't endured it then, I wouldn't be having a hard time now.

Chapter 3: Respond to a Wavering Heart

· What I need after enduring is not success, but recovery.
· A sign that the heart is alive
· Not because I'm weak, but because I've persevered
· What's scarier than failure is the fear of failure.
A minefield of emotions that could explode at any moment
· When you lose things you take for granted in everyday life
Something to hold me when I'm wavering
· If you stay a little further away, you will have more room to wait.
· 'Insecure attachment' that dominates one's life
· A person who wants to be loved but cannot love
· Protecting me from giving up and despair
· When I don't know what kind of person I am
· It's not my responsibility to care about the other person's feelings.
· The ability to distinguish good people
· Why can't I leave even though I hate you?
· Confirming love is obsession
· If I don't get a response, my heart breaks.
· The pain caused by the difference between expectations and reality
· Why emotional wounds last so long
· Opportunity to choose one's own life by one's own will

Chapter 4: A Blueprint for a Heart That Returns While Shaking

· What scares me about the future is the unknown.
· If the result of your hard work is misfortune
· You can find your best self in misfortune
· 90% of fears are about things that haven't happened yet
· Complaining doesn't move the other person's heart.
· Don't look at your worries through a microscope.
· It is important not to stop even if you walk 10cm with each step.
· Inferiority complex is a label that you put on yourself.
· The twist of 'It's okay just the way it is now'
· Your life will change just by changing the people you hang out with.
· When inferiority complex gives you the energy to live
· Understanding the suffering of others eases my own.
· Through the eyes of others, through the ears of others, through the hearts of others
· When you reach a dead end, imagine beyond it.
· Things that can only be seen when viewed differently
· The more you give, the more difficult it becomes to pay the bill
· Misfortune is a choice, failure is an experience.
· No one else, just because you are you
A reality where there is no room for depression
· Saying 'I want to die' is a signal to be saved.
· The moment you say you are happy, you are halfway to being happy.
· Great happiness is given, but small happiness is a matter of choice.
· The power to live with what has been given to me
· The starting line and speed are different for each person.
· A gaze directed toward the past reveals no future.
· No one lives without being shaken.
Happiness comes when life catches its breath.
· Being alive shakes

Conclusion

Who Should Read This Book

- I wish I had a lot of good people around me.
- It seems like my relationships have been getting strained for some time now.
- I feel like I'm overdoing it, but I can't stop.
- I feel like people around me are constantly attacking me.
- Always caught up in negative emotions
- I want to feel more joy in life.

The paradox of unwavering shaking because it bends

Even on a calm day, a skyscraper with over 100 floors shakes very slightly.
The amplitude is only less than 1 cm, so people inside can hardly feel it, but the building is always quietly and slowly adjusting its balance.
When strong winds blow, the shaking can be noticeable, and especially as you go higher up, the shaking can become so strong that it can be felt.
But it just shakes and never falls apart.

The shaking of a skyscraper is actually a necessary movement to prevent it from collapsing.
If you only make it strong, there is a risk that it will suddenly break when it is subjected to external shocks such as earthquakes or strong winds.
In particular, buildings that seem to pierce the sky are designed to allow a certain amount of 'shaking', which is one of the core principles of earthquake-resistant design and the secret to supporting high-rise buildings.
It uses the principle that a flexible structure is safer than a rigid one.

There is no such thing as a calm sea.
A ship that has to drift on the waves is designed to tilt.
This is because a ship that stands vertically cannot accept the movement of waves and easily capsizes.
The ship navigates the waves while tilting and then finding its center again.

When a car crashes, the front part is the first to break.
This is not because the car is weak, but because the front end was intentionally designed to be dented.
Designed to protect occupants by absorbing impact from the front and embracing its waves, the breakage becomes a protective device.

When a strong wind blows, the first things to fall are those that stand stiffly.
But the grass and trees bow their heads and surrender to the wind.
If trees and grass do not bend when the wind blows, they will break.
So most plants do not try to 'beat' the wind, but rather live by bending their bodies.

The paradox that something does not break because it bends, and that it can endure for a long time without collapsing only when it is allowed to shake, is an insight gained from the providence of nature.

The human mind is also like this.
We often close our hearts and hold on tight to avoid being shaken, to avoid being hurt, to become strong.
On the outside, you pretend to be okay, to act as if nothing is wrong, but inside, your emotions are slowly building up and building up like pressure.
It is like a fixed structure that has lost its flexibility and can easily collapse even with a small impact.

A wavering heart doesn't mean you're weak, it's proof you're alive.
Emotional vibrations are a sign that we are still connected to the outside world and responding to changes.
Rather, a hardened mind can be more dangerous.
Only those who can be shaken can change direction, regain their balance, and endure without collapsing.

A blueprint for a heart that takes deeper root as it shakes

We all live with past pain and suppressed emotions.
Those emotions build up in the subconscious and come back as present anxiety and pain, but if you don't properly look at them and deal with them, your heart will only become heavier and more shaken.
This book provides a warm perspective on how to recognize the signs of such emotions, accept the emotions that are bothering you, and recover healthily.

It provides deep insight to those who find themselves wavering, anxious about the future, easily hurt by others' words, and wondering how to live their lives as themselves, and guides them in which direction to go.
When we face misfortune rather than turn away from it, we discover the seeds of growth. When we realize that failure and feelings of inferiority are no longer shackles that imprison us, but rather the foundation for building a strong inner self, life is no longer a difficult journey, but an exciting step forward.

A person who has lived pushing himself to not waver, a person who has lost himself trying not to show that he is falling apart, a person who has endured without knowing why he is wavering.
It's time to quietly break away from the familiar mental patterns that have been weighing me down and listen to the emotions of my true self.
There is no one who is unshaken.
Just keep the center in check.
There is no need to be afraid just because you are shaking now.
We are all constantly shaken, even on calm days.
Your heart may not be breaking, but rather undergoing adjustments to become stronger.
Like a skyscraper.

In order not to collapse, it must be shaken.
If you cultivate the mental strength to feel that “life is predictable, understandable, manageable, and meaningful,” you can be shaken but still find your balance.
Let's keep in our hearts a mental blueprint that will allow us to not completely collapse when faced with any difficult task, and to get back up even if we stumble for a moment.

A psychologist's words to free you from the mindset that "everything has to be okay."

· “If you are sensitive to small things, it means that emotions you experienced in the past are being replayed in your mind.” _Daizo Kato
· “If I don’t seriously consider who I am, I lose the opportunity to choose my own life on my own terms.”
_Dan Kiley
· “Emotions are not just feelings, they are important feedback information that tells me what state I am in at the moment.”
_Benjamin Schwartz
· “Most of the world’s worries grow into major problems while we hesitate and deal with them passively.” _David Seabury
· “All renunciations must be made.
Any obsession must eventually be let go.”
_Viktor Frankl
· “If you find yourself in a situation where you’re wondering, ‘What should I do now?’, it’s a sign that you’re headed in the wrong direction.”
_Kato Daizo
· “If you’re feeling depressed, look for the mindset that says, ‘I have to do this.’”
_Albert Ellis
· “Modern people live wearing various masks.
And they are afraid to face their true selves.”
_Muriel James
· “An unhappy life is not due to circumstances, but to the way you look at life.”
Alfred Adler

A book like warm soup on a frozen day

A psychological turning point that allows you to see everyday life from a different perspective.

You may look fine on the outside, but inside you are getting more and more tired.
If you want to find the right answer to the question, "Why is it so hard?", then it's time to confront and confront your unconscious emotional patterns, past memories, and suppressed inner voices.
This book psychologically identifies the causes of repetitive emotional exhaustion, relationship fatigue, and unexplained lethargy, and presents practical methods for developing emotional resilience.

A guide to the heart that traces the roots of emotions

It answers the fundamental question, "Why is life so difficult?" with psychological insight, and offers specific directions for understanding the roots of emotions and developing resilience.
Your wavering now is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of change.
It shows the most realistic map to navigate the complex forest of emotions when you need an inner design to avoid collapse.

Practice listening to your true feelings

Shaking is not a defect, but the beginning of reorganization, and the emotions that sway in a relationship can actually be an opportunity for change.
What I need now is not a stronger me, but understanding my heart.
The moment you become honest with your feelings, the direction of your life changes.
Instead of pretending to be okay, let's look into my heart, which is not okay.
It teaches you how to find signs that offer opportunities for recovery and growth, especially when you feel like you're about to collapse.

A Guide to Finding Happiness in the Midst of Depression and Hardship

It presents resilience and self-love recovery strategies that anyone can apply in their daily lives, containing concrete methods and insights to overcome wavering emotions, anxiety, and fear.
A life guide based on psychological insights, with relatable stories, real-life examples, and an intuitive understanding of the flow of emotions. This guide will help you lighten your emotional burden, find peace of mind, and live the rest of your life according to your own emotions, pace, and standards.

A life blueprint that won't crumble even at level 7

Chapter 1: Breaking Up with Myself After Trying So Hard

If you find yourself easily swayed by trivial words and often get hurt, it means your heart needs healing.
Suppressed emotions, postponed problems, and memories buried in the subconscious do not disappear, but burst out at a moment I cannot handle, shaking my life and robbing me of my confidence.
To interpret the small, subtle signals of the mind and break free from familiar emotional habits, we must break away from the false self and call out to the real self.

Chapter 2: Summoning the Forgotten Me

Emotions suppressed in the unconscious can manifest as physical symptoms such as lethargy and burnout, or as mood swings and self-blame, disrupting our daily lives.
Especially those who have tried hard to be a 'good person' are unable to feel their true feelings because they live up to other people's expectations.
As time goes by, I gradually become more and more distant from myself.
Just as you can't solve a problem if you don't know the cause, you can never resolve your emotions if you don't feel them properly.
You must first understand where the feelings you want to escape from come from.
To do this, I need to call back the forgotten me.

Chapter 3: Respond to a Wavering Heart

We were busy ignoring those feelings by blaming ourselves and pushing ourselves harder, not knowing exactly why we were so easily shaken and weak.
Being shaken means I have endured it for a long time, so now it is time to respond to my heart.
Let's break the habit of always being quick to react to what others say and focus on ourselves.
Even in the midst of anxiety and fear, it is ultimately I who hold on to myself and move toward recovery.

Chapter 4: A Blueprint for a Heart That Returns While Shaking

Everyone is afraid of new challenges, and when faced with pain or misfortune, they tend to waver and become weak.
But a person with a strong mind is not one who is unshaken, but one who is not afraid of being shaken.
Pain and unhappiness are inevitable rites of passage in life.
If your mind is hardened at this time, it will easily break even with a small shock, but a flexible mind has the power to return to its original position.
Ultimately, the important thing is not to avoid shaking, but to develop the resilience to recover from it.
When we accept the shaking as it is, we do not fall apart, but rather become stronger.